This practice agrees with you
As I practice periodic mindful sessions of being agreeable, I experienced an AHA about myself so huge that I had to sit down. It helped me make sense of and have greater compassion for myself, leveled-up. (Which of course is then also projected toward others.) And it’s regarding wanting to be understood, and people-pleasing.
These two are actually the same thing.
For a long time I have been aware of and navigating my quality of “I just want to be understood!” (Hint: I am not always going to be understood by others. Accept myself, regardless.)
And, I have also been aware of and working with my personality of people-pleasing. (Hint: I can not always help to make others happy. Let go of avoiding conflict.)
I realize now that I had considered wanting to be understood as a positive quality, and people-pleasing as a shadow. I attended to practicing expansion of one and overcoming of the other. But they are actually the same thing. They both are about external validation and acceptance.
Hang on while I find a chair.
In practicing being agreeable, I more easily step into happy moments of It’s Not My Time Right Now / I’m Not On Stage With Them. And because of that, of my mindfully holding focused space for the other in this moment, I experience the suspension of internal attention on myself.
This moment is easily not my time to seek to be understood. The door is open for that at another time, if I so choose. And wow, I am safe in not being understood.
This moment is effortlessly not about what I can do to please this person. My only job is to be here with them, in love. And wow, I am safe in observing without acting.
I haven’t worked to strive to arrive, to get to this place of not needing to be understood and of learning to not want to people-please.
It’s simply happened.
Of course, and thank you.
What are you learning about yourself, as you practice mindful moments of being agreeable?