Become the author of your own story.
The author. Not the reader.
There’s a very big difference, here. It’s the difference between your life happening to you, and you choosing your experience of it. Between facing reality and creating it.
In owning our own story, we get to decide how it’s written. But there is a catch. In doing so, we have to let go of our comfortable and sneaky role of being victimized. We can no longer blame others for our situations. No matter what they are.
Think you aren’t harboring any sneaky victimhood? Take a look at where you feel righteous. Do you tell the story of how you’re always there to care for your aging parents even though your brother called you lazy? Are you proud of yourself for your successful career path despite the debt you have because your parents didn’t help you pay for college? Would you like to volunteer at an animal shelter one day after your children are older when you might finally have the time for it?
Take a closer look at the stories you tell. If they are two-parters such as these, you are actually writing yourself as the victim. Ditch half of the story. You know which half.
Are you disappointed that you don’t have the life you want? Or even parts of that life? You might just be accidentally writing yourself as the victim instead of the hero. How can you tell? Look for a hidden Part Two. A qualifier. A reason. An excuse.
And promptly delete it from your story.
Practice what that sounds like, now. “I’d like to write more if I had the time,” simply becomes “I’d like to write more.” No reason needed.
“I enjoy my job except for the commute” becomes “I enjoy my job.” Which truth feels better?
“I’ve always wanted to learn the violin, but my school didn’t offer it” is rewritten as “I’ve always wanted to learn the violin.” You don’t have to solve that now, but you just gave yourself the possibility for a new chapter in your life.
In authoring your own story, you get to decide how it’s written. When we edit out the victimhood portions, our creative capacity is endless.
What are some sneaky victim-like stories you hold? (Hint: start with some of your craziest dreams, wildest desires, and fabulous fantasies. Those are the ones that contain the most obvious reasons why we haven’t done them yet!) Please share any insights or Aha’s in the comments below. You have much to say, and we benefit from hearing you!