Turn emotional lead into gold, like this:
Posted on November 20, 2019 Leave a Comment
The other day I caught myself reacting in my head in, well, not what I would in any form call a mindful, observing way. A thoughtless comment was made, I took it personally, and although neutral on the outside I was incredibly animated on the inside.
Can you relate?
I know, I know — thoughtless comment, or misperception? Well-intentioned speaker, overly exhausted receiver? Chalk it up to poor timing, but there I am doing one-sided damage control in my mind.
And it’s times like these where “Serenity now” just falls flat.
I am learning that it hugely helps to name my feelings, and honor them… But then what?
Try this for yourself, I find it’s helping me: Read More
If self-aware you wish to be, ask yourself these questions three
Posted on November 13, 2019 Leave a Comment
You know how when you’re observing your thoughts, that they are of a certain feeling or emotion, and now you’ve accidentally moved into judging that feeling?
Yeah. Me too.
I observe that I’m tired after a full day, and my focus has now subtly shifted from “observing” to “tired.”
Try, try again. It’s called a Practice for a reason…
In my current MBSR class (Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction), I’ve recently learned a tool that is a personal game-changer with staying in Observer Mode instead of slipping back into Player Mode. And I invite you to consider it, yourself: Read More
Becoming more response-able — we get to choose
Posted on November 6, 2019 Leave a Comment
Another unexpected benefit of personal mindfulness practice that I am experiencing is how I relate. To others, to the world — and even to myself.
I am finding that I react less, and respond more.
And I thought I was pretty good at not reacting in the first place — but holy wow for awareness, humility, and leveling up.
When someone throws a snarky comment my way, I more often see it for what it is — an expression of their immediate process in this moment. Which includes their tiredness, their feeling out of control, their grasping for mental footing. None of which, actually, has anything at all to do with me. I just happen to be within range.
I’m finding that when I pause, and choose how to respond — rather than react — all of it dissipates. All of it. Regardless of if I have quietly held a space of breathing room for the person, or if I have spoken a response that gently but firmly reminds “enough.”
The secret isn’t the pausing. It’s choosing a response instead of a reaction. The pause just helps me get aligned with my heart-space, first.
Besides interacting with people, I notice that responding rather than reacting improves my situations, too. The hot water heater unexpectedly craps out? I can rail at the poor timing, the unexpected expense, and the headache of it all, — or I can embrace it as Life getting Lifey and turn toward a solution. Either way, I’m in the situation. I just get to choose how I feel about it along the way.
I also am discovering that choosing to respond rather than react improves my relationship with myself. All my creative energy today was used up for my work project, and now I’m clueless as to what to make for supper — again?!? This doesn’t mean I am failing; it’s just the way things are going right now.
When I fall short or inevitably make mistakes, I have greater self-compassion. And I more often than not lead from that space instead of work my way there. Which for me, is life-changing.
SO — something triggers you, and you are flooded with emotion? Notice it. Name it. Choose how you want to respond. And watch it dissipate. All of it.
Things don’t disappear; they dissolve. Like stirring sugar into water, both are still present.
They are not gone; they are changed. You are navigating differently.
In cooperation. In awareness. In response.
And that makes all the difference.
I have always been responsible and purposeful: now I am becoming response-able and on purpose.
How about you? Where do you react and where do you respond? Start with looking at your triggers, and pick one that you wish to change a reaction into a response. Recognize where you pause, and choose one where you already respond and wish to deepen your connection to that.
Practicing purposefulness, leveled-up
Posted on October 30, 2019 Leave a Comment
There are a variety of personal meditative practices. Perhaps you use Reiki, shamanic journeying, breathwork, Tarot or oracle cards. Maybe you use daily devotionals, pray, walk in nature, practice gratitude, save a chair for your Guardian Angel.
Although I have had some sort of connecting practice for as long as I can remember, I recently am also exploring Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction (MBSR).
(I had gotten rather sloppy in my attentiveness, and this organized option is well-timed for me.)
Yet as I move further through this mindfulness experience, I notice something amazing: my idle speed has become reset. Read More
Benchmarks of leveling up in relationship
Posted on October 23, 2019 2 Comments
Watch the above video till the end. All the way through. Even if you think you know what is coming. Even if you’ve already seen it.
(Oh, for crying out loud, it’s only four minutes and ten seconds to the end credits. Consider it easy meditation time, and just enjoy.)
QUESTIONS TO PONDER, NOW THAT YOU’RE HERE:
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gina drellack 