There’s no panicking in enlightenment, angst is optional, and joy is the answer. To everything. ~gd
Hello, and welcome to the online home of gina drellack. I am a teacher and writer who has transformed from struggling to easing my way to incredible dreams. I’m absolutely astonished at the amazing difference. Why haven’t I always done it this way? Why doesn’t everyone do this?!? It’s So. Much. Better!
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Ease. Joy. Transformation.
Even fictional characters sometimes receive unwarranted medical opinions. Doctors have diagnosed Ebeneezer Scrooge with OCD, Sherlock Holmes with autism, and Darth Vader with borderline personality disorder. –Sam Kean
Have you ever had someone else’s perception just absolutely throw you for a loop?
Perhaps your friend Scrooge tells a story and you think, “Wait — that’s not how it happened, and I was there!”
Maybe you’re quietly lost in beauty and awe of the fall scenery on a drive, and just then your spouse Sherlock remarks about how drab the season is this year.
Or perhaps you just learned that your sister Vader is furious with you because while you went out of your way to be complimentary during your visit, she only heard criticism and attack. Three days ago.
In each case, you are absolutely staggered at where the other person has arrived in your shared situation. Because your reality is entirely different than theirs.
So, which reality is the real one?
They both are.
Each of us creates our reality by our thoughts. Every day we get to choose. We are choosing, whether we are aware of this or not. We already have been for quite some time.
Don’t much fancy what you’ve gotten? Choose again. Yes, it is that simple.
That’s the difference between facing reality and creating it.
And, you cannot choose for another person. Just like they can’t choose for you.
So those same shared situations? Let go of reconciling the different realities. Trust in your own, while allowing them theirs. You cannot get righteous enough, or preachy enough, or defensive enough, or apologetic enough, or sad enough to lift others up and make them realize that they are choosing too.
You’re not ever going to teach them how to vibrate, nor would you want to change them all to a place of vibrating just like you. Your work is not to fix them; they are not broken. Your work is to choose from among all of that which feels best to you, and fixate on it as long as it gives you pleasure and joy. And in doing so, you will align with the Energy of your Source, and you will live a magnificent experience. You just have to not let your joy depend upon what anybody else is living, cause that’ll get you every time.
Carry on in love. Follow your joy, hold your own reality when faced with theirs. And know that you’re not alone.
I’m learning a lot on my journey to receive. This allowing, opening, surrendering thing is growing me into something expansive. I’m becoming both softer as well as stronger, instead of simply capable.
And here’s the next layer I recently experienced:
I must also learn to receive from myself.
My receptivity isn’t dependent upon outside sources. It’s not a result. It comes from within, and it must come first.
The example where I recently learned this has to do with traveling for work. I was asked if I was able to attend an evening meeting on one end of the state, and I was teaching a workshop on the other end of the state early that next morning. Think of a 3-4-5 triangle, with each point as a different location on the map.
I live more in the middle of the state, so this scenario involved a significant amount of driving just to get to either event alone. Additionally, in order to make both appointments I would either need to leave the meeting and arrive at a hotel close to the workshop at around 1 a.m., or find lodging near the meeting and leave for the workshop before 3 a.m. Neither option lit me up.
Now, don’t get me wrong–I am indeed capable. My reaction was to problem-solve as to how to best carry this out. I slipped into my previous-self mode, which was to buckle down, rise to the occasion, and get the job done.
And then I paused.
I asked myself an incredibly important question:
What’s the most loving-kind thing I can do for myself in this situation?
And I felt peace. And ease. And then I knew my answer.
Asking ourselves that question is the answer. But in case you’re curious about what it led to in this particular story, it was this: I didn’t arrive at 1 a.m., and I didn’t leave at 3 a.m. I showed up fully and led my workshop. And guess what? Nobody was disappointed that I didn’t go to the meeting. Any expectations or need to prove my capacity had come only from me. And I was able to receive release of those through asking myself a simple question.
What’s the most loving-kind thing I can do for myself?
When you ask this, you’re positioned to receive–from yourself. Ask yourself this question, and ask it often.
- Before you get out of bed each day. (What’s the most loving-kind thing I can do for myself today?)
- While navigating circumstances. (What’s the most loving-kind thing I can do for myself in this situation?)
- When making a decision. (What’s the most loving-kind thing I can do for myself in this?)
Receiving isn’t a reaction, it’s a state of being.
What’s the most loving-kind thing I can do for myself?
Sometimes it’s giving up gluten. Sometimes it’s binge-watching The Big Bang Theory. Sometimes it’s even attending the meeting. And all of these answers are profound.
I had a huge Aha about ease the other day.
I was walking back from the mailbox, mentally going over my afternoon to-do list and feeling slightly agitated. And I had a moment of “Dangit, I’m working toward a life of ease and flow. I’m on top of the things I need to accomplish today. Why do I feel so slightly panicked?!?”
And it hit me. Or maybe that was my guardian angel appropriately knocking me upside the head:
In one glorious split second, I full-body realized that I already am ease. Only I don’t recognize it.
So this is what ease feels like.
Instead, I keep checking to make sure that I’m on the right track. Which creates a constant, low-grade, slightly panicked feeling.
But this is what ease feels like.
Rather, I’m creating my own problem that I want to overcome. I don’t need to create a solution, I simply need to stop creating what covers it.
Yet this is what ease feels like.
I want an overall feeling of ease and joy. So, I need to stop basing it on feeling either behind or caught up. The process of ease is not dependent on the outcome of the day. Enjoy! I can have both ease and things to get to.
Ease does not depend on what I have going on, ease is what I have going on.
So this is what ease feels like.
Indeed, it is as important to learn how to receive a blessing as it is to be willing to give one. –Joel Osteen
I’m great at giving. Giving my time, giving my talent, giving my treasure. I love it. Not only is it my nature, I also cultivate it. I value giving to others. It gives them joy. It gives me joy. And joyfulness makes the world a better place, in my opinion.
However, I kinda suck at receiving.
Up until now, my prideful giving side wouldn’t let myself receive. As if in doing so it somehow negated the giving. Like they would cancel each other out. Or that I’d get selfish and stop giving. As if receiving would be like a dazzling high from which I’d never come down, turning myself into a taking, selfish freak. First one’s free, kid.
I couldn’t be more wrong.
I’m sure you’ve heard the angle that in not-receiving, you deny the giver of the giving. And since you wouldn’t want to be denied in your giving…well, you see that you really should also receive. Great. Now I feel that Receiving = Guilt + Failure. Gee, this is fun.
The slightly less guilty version is that in receiving, you are actually giving the giver a gift. So, I feel better about receiving…but am I, really? Receiving? Or have I just reshaped it back into giving?
Then it finally occurs to me that in learning to receive, I enrich my entire giving/receiving interlaced experience. Which I do believe is true, and it also unveils the deeper learning that I’ve really got going on here…
Receiving is tied to my vulnerability, my worthiness, and my self-value. Ouch.
But hold on. Let’s make that Ouch for the ripping off of the bandage, rather than for the wound. Because look–what’s actually underneath that covering is smooth, luminous, beautiful. There was nothing to protect in the first place, no flaw to heal.
That’s where I want to get to. So I’m finally ready to learn about receiving.
In my process I’ve discovered that I actually equate receiving with taking. And here’s my unconscious math from that one:
- Giving is good.
- Taking is the opposite of giving.
- Taking equals receiving.
- Receiving is the opposite of giving.
- Receiving is bad.
Then I made a huge leap in understanding: receiving does not equal taking. Receiving is not the opposite of giving.
Receiving doesn’t undermine giving. Receiving and giving are each a side of the same coin. Two parts to one whole.
You could say that receiving is thus the opposite of taking! Which then completely debunks that whole funky math theorem.
And for those of us who also think in Language as well as Math, feeling as well as thinking, let’s examine new synonyms in order to help create new mental patterns. According to Thesaurus.com, some synonyms for Receive include:
- Take in
- Be given
- Come into
And another good one I realized as well: to receive is to surrender.
Holy cow, does that put a new light on the gift of receiving for me!
I’m offering up a daily prayer: I’m ready to learn more about receiving. I’m ready to surrender.
And I no longer fear that in doing so, my giving will be compromised.
Now it’s your turn: share in the safe space of the comments here how you feel about receiving. What’s your mental math around it? Or your learning language?
We are Divine enough to ask and we are important enough to receive. –Wayne Dyer
When you are in sync with the Energy of Source, which is the Energy of Well-being, Well-being is your experience. And when you’re not you don’t feel so good. Everything that you’re living is a perfect replica of the vibration of your being.—Abraham
I’ve been in a slump lately. Maybe you also identify with sometimes not feeling so good, as Abraham describes it above. I like to think that even folks like Jesus, Buddha, and the drivers we pass on the road know what we’re talking about.
My previous style of pulling out of this would be to identify what and why I feel out of whack, and then muscle through in to overcome it. I would struggle my way back to my normal state of feeling good. And yes, it would work.
It occurs to me that my newly-learned approach to bold dreaming also applies here. Rather than struggle, ease and joy is another way to transformation. So what would that look like in this situation?
Instead of focusing on not feeling so good and working to overcome it, I can look to the well-being that I desire to return to. Bypass the “how”, the process of “getting there”, and just embrace right now what the desired end result would feel like.
The difference is in looking at the solution, not the problem. The treasure itself, not the map to find it.
Think Harry Potter, when he found the Sorcerer’s Stone in his pocket.
When I go straight for the Well-being, I discover I already have it. And that transforms me into being it.
Now it’s your turn. What’s your current treasure, your Sorcerer’s Stone? You already have it–feel it, to find it. Share in the comments what you’re discovering, and what you are wondering!