Love Languages Light Bulb

Okay, so you may be familiar with Dr. Gary Chapman’s 5 Love Languages.  It’s the idea that people give and receive love in different areas: words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch.  There is a neat little quiz to find out which is your (and your spouse’s or child’s) primary love language.  Pretty illuminating, actually.

I understand more deeply why we run errands together, as well as thrive in a small house.  Our gift-giving to each other makes sense to both of us.

I discovered why it is so important for me to hear that I am loved, as well as why my husband says it sparingly with words but abundantly with actions.  I know why I immensely enjoy making popcorn on the stove, as well as why I supremely appreciate that my family cleans up afterward.

Neither of us is wrong for what we need or how we give, and with awareness we see that we each are heavily giving to the other, and actually constantly expressing our love.

Knowing what language the other speaks, we can adjust to meet their needs.  When my husband asks me if I want to go with him when he test-drives the car from his garage repair, absolutely I say yes.  And he never fails to give me an authentic hug and kiss every morning, because that’s what I need to start my day right.

We learn to recognize that the form of love we are being gifted with is their most honest, best expression–even if it’s not the packaging we prefer.  To them, they are giving us the most incredible gift in the world (and they are!).  Think of it as the dead mouse left on the doorstep by the cat, if that helps.  This is accepting and honoring the person for who they are.

We also learn to let the other know what it is that we do need, and to not squelch our own desires and preferences. This is accepting and honoring ourselves for who we are.

Here’s my big ol’ floodlight-bulb aha! moment: one does not replace the other. (Think: yes, I may think I’m more enlightened than he is about all this; no, I don’t have to be the only one making adjustments!)

Here’s my mini maglite aha! moment: allow others to participate in showing love through service instead of me hogging all the opportunities, it’s a major language for them as well. (Think: let others set the table too!)

When I realize that my husband is actually expressing constantly his love language, I less often need him to express my love language.  Still, an unsolicited “I love you” or hearing from him that I’m beautiful, and I’m happily sharing movies I’d never choose.  I’ll make the popcorn, he’ll clean up.

Self-Hypnosis and Subliminal Technology

This was a very interesting book of action!  Oftentimes this type is theory and history, with less emphasis on actual procedure.  Although background is given, emphasis is on what an individual can actually go and do with this learning.  I especially like that the author, Eldon Taylor, constantly reaffirms that the individual is fully in charge of themselves at all times: the power goes to the Self in self-hypnosis, not the teacher or anyone else.

This book comes with an accompanying cd, which has helpful tracks for self-hypnosis.  There is a text list of affirmations included in the two subliminal recordings, which I appreciated.

Unexpectedly, this book has an entire section on helpful tips and how-to’s on creating your own personal self-hypnosis and subliminal audio tracks.  That alone is worth this book!

The eBook version is full of links to where a reader can go for the recorded tracks.  You can feel very confident that in purchasing the eBook, you are not missing out on the included cd!  This was another aspect that I was very appreciative of and that makes a difference in format choice.

If you are looking for supportive positive thinking and messages, this book is very much worth your time and will be a welcome addition to your resources.  However, if your interest is in action steps to create and pursue your own recorded personal messages, then immediately get a digital copy of this book.  Go right now!  I’ll still be here when you get back, and then you can finish reading my disclaimer.

This book was given to me by Hay House in exchange for my honest opinion of it.  Nothing subliminal or hypnotic here, folks–I was honestly surprised at how self-empowering its purpose is, and how beyond theory and into personalized action it went.

TranscenDance Expanded

“Stop trying to fix yourself…start to see yourself.”

This is a beautiful book of nine printed wisdom services by Michael Bernard Beckwith, each with an accompanying song version collected on the included cd.  It’s a groovin’ dance mix with amazing messages, made more profound in combination with their chapters!

Growing up in church, I remember the sermons as a whole leaving me a little flat.  Language that puts people in Inherent Sinner mode leaves no room for escaping that role.  I remember thinking, “Okay, that’s your big picture.  But what about good advice for living my day today?”  The whole Repent-Because-You-Might-Die-Tomorrow didn’t help me with living life today.

As I read this book I was suddenly struck with the realization that this is the teaching I was looking for at that time!  The messages such as I Am, there is nothing that needs fixing, and consciously choosing the path of expanding awareness is a welcome and refreshing understanding and support.

Daily advice reminders are there, too: stay away from dangerous people–those who complain, choose victimhood, support things only as they are–because it can very easily rub off.  Think from creativity instead of competition, focus on the vibration of things in harmony with your life, and courageously use your unique voice–the world needs what you have to say!

The most profound hit for me was that although I know the messages in the book, I finally started to feel it.  May you feel it, too.

I received this book/cd set from Hay House in exchange for my honest opinion of it.

Excuse Me, That’s My Leg You’re Peeing On

Image courtesy of CanineMind

As a dog lover, pack mentality fascinates me. As a people lover, group dynamics intrigues me. Occasionally, considering the similarities helps me.

Image courtesy of Logic+Emotion

We’ve all encountered them: people who live their life making sure they are Top Dog. I’m talking simple day-to-day encounters with others, independent of career. These are people who tackle life as a hierarchy, a vertical ladder that positions themselves in relation to others. Others embrace life more as a collaborative, a horizontal plane that places themselves in relation with others.

Consider when you meet a self-imposed Top Dog, either in their office or simply their social space.  They begin to look toward you, but instead of acknowledging you they drop their head and forcibly continue their task.  The task doesn’t matter, it could be closing out a computer screen or watching a car drive down the street.  Out of cooperative respect, you wait for the opening that is quickly being created as you see them complete what is occupying them.

You are a little bemused when they obviously busy themselves with finding a new occupation rather than acknowledge your presence!  Now the situation is slightly awkward, and you speak.  Suddenly they turn to you in a surprised response, as if they only just now noticed your presence.  You feel a shift has happened that you can’t quite name, and it has left you feeling slightly out of balance.  In dogpack mentality, they have just peed on your leg.

When my leg has been peed on, it helps to remember (dogmatically?) that they view the world as hierarchical while I view it as collaborative…and that it’s nothing personal, they do this to everyone.

I don’t like getting my leg peed on, so I’ll do what I can to prevent it.  Usually a warning nip, so to speak, does the trick.  Lately I have stumbled across a symbolic response that works very well with my psyche for the extra challenging dogpack people, and perhaps it will benefit you:

Stand where you are, but simply pull your leg away.

The imagery of this Top Dog whizzing steadily away on a leg that isn’t even there makes me smile.  They think they are redefining their ladder status, but they are simply peeing on air.  Everybody wins–they no longer have this interaction to feel insecure about, and my leg isn’t compromised.  Whiz all you like, it’s ineffectual on me.  Nothing personal.

Image courtesy of

The Dalai Lama’s Cat

This is such a feel-good story! If you are not a cat person, you will get a kick out of the subtle fun poked at the cat’s perspective. If you are a cat person, you will still enjoy that, as well as the respect and honor given the species through this story. Either way, you will appreciate the insight gained as a reader through the eyes of the kitty that lives with the Dalai Lama.

Okay, I knew I was in for a story in which HHC (His Holiness’ Cat) would actually attempt to teach me about myself through her own cat experiences. It’s pretty obvious that this is a book about self-help and personal awareness in the shape of lessons learned by a character so removed from myself that it’s safe to actually look.  The amazing thing is how well it is written–I knew this was the premise, and yet I continually forgot.  The story is so engaging, so entertaining, and so enveloping that as a reader I willingly became involved and loved it.

Yes, it is an allegory for me.  (And as in the song from The Sound of Music:  “And you.  And you.  And you and you and you….”)  Yes, you know it’s coming.  Yes, you forget it’s a lesson in your delight of the story.  And yes, you appreciate the lesson anyway–quite possibly because of the beautiful way it is offered.

Keep this book on hand, and read it when you are ready for something less heady and cumbersome.  Although it could be heavy, it actually is the opposite.  A quick read with a good flow, it is uplifting, encouraging, humorous, and Truth.

The FTC would be super happy to see that I let people know I received a copy of this book from Hay House simply in exchange for my honest opinion of it.  I highly recommend this book!

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