How do you respond when others ask about you?
- Would you like anything to drink?
- What do you want to eat for lunch?
- Are you warm enough in the car?
- Would you like a booth or a table?
I’ve discovered that most often people say, “I’m fine.” Myself included.
- “No thanks, I’m fine.”
- “I’m fine with wherever.”
- “Oh, it’s fine back here.”
- “Either is fine.”
Now, these sound innocuous, but notice what we are slowly doing to ourselves. On the one hand, we are being selfless, we don’t dictate, we take everyone’s opinions into account. There’s nothing wrong with this. But there is something else happening that erodes at us.
In our loving-kind awareness of others, we easily forget ourselves.
I have a wide range of fine, in just about every situation. A pea lodged under my mattress won’t affect my snoring in the least. But I’ll also go in knowing, to endure that particular guest bed that physically hurts my body — I just quietly make chiropractor and massage therapy appointments when I return home. “How did you sleep?” “Fine.”
Clearly, I’m not fine.
The word “fine” is used as okay, good enough. But the word “fine” is defined as excellent, supreme, free from impurities. Fine wine, fine art, fine line… Huh. Nothing “good enough” about any of that.
I have a wide range of Fine. (Hah — and I’m fine with that!) But what if I reframed this? What if I began at one end, yet explored what would move me to the other end of the continuum?
What would make me feel…fabulous?
Simply identifying what would elevate me in a given situation, I begin to reconnect with my Self. From there, I can make conscious and aware choices — no matter where they fall on the range of Fine.
Now, I don’t fear that this will turn me into a Diva. Just because I identify it doesn’t mean I demand it of the world, after all. It simply means that I elevate myself, to myself. And that I approach my days from that space. And to be honest, it’s time for this. For many of us.
So let’s all notice today when we use the word “fine.” You are, but in that moment ask yourself, “Yes, but what would make me feel fabulous?” Allow yourself to explore. What comes up for you? How do you feel, even in asking yourself that question? Share your process in the comments below. There are many of us who are surprised by ourselves.