When helping doesn’t actually look like helping…

Which help is assisting & supporting, and which help is rescuing & enabling?
How long do I let someone experience productive struggle, before stepping in?
If it also makes my life better when theirs is smooth, can I simply allow and be with their bumpy upset and discord — without taking it on, myself?
This is kinda similar to the idea of being able to mediate right where one is — traffic, TV, barking dog, shared space and all — rather than needing a peaceful setting and set-aside days. Meditating in the moment, instead of requiring a retreat. The Divine really is in the daily doings.
What if I could feel smoothly flowing, first, and then attend to my beloved entanglements from that space? Rather than “fix” things in my outer world including (and for me, especially) my beloved entanglements so that they are flowing smoothly, first, in order to then be able to relax?
There’s something here for me.
Can you relate?

