Even in our scary differences we are still alike
What’s the difference, for the observer, between one person moving through their life by seemingly needing everything to be planned out and in its proper slot, and another person seemingly taking things as they come and just seeing what happens?
Being privy to their thought process.
Both types, as we watch them, are relaxed and enjoying the end result. When it’s actually time for the event, the situation, the outcome, each are present in the moment. But when using our own lens, it’s easy to get judgy about how the other navigates. When each are actually similar, but we don’t see that.
When we hear others
speak their thoughts along the way about possible ways for things to unfold in the best manner for all involved, it can be easy to shake our heads. We can feel that they are over-orchestrating, and wish for them to just be more relaxed about it all.
And when we see someone move through their process quietly, or on a seemingly slower timeline than we understand, it can also be easy to shake our heads. Especially if they voice out loud, “Let’s just see how it goes.” But don’t be fooled — they are going through the very same mental hoops about logistics, relationships, and positive outcomes, just in a different-looking way.
And everyone (including me and you) is unaware that each is doing the very thing that we wonder at in another, just because it’s done differently.
A timeless question: Why am I being triggered?
Don’t think this is a thing? Think about planning any celebratory gathering.
Between multiple generations, family and friends living wide distances apart, various schedules, and hey, let’s throw in a pandemic, and it’s easy to see there are many things to navigate — both logistically and relationally. Some explore these things aloud, and some give them internal attention. But on some level, each are doing the same thing, just in a different-looking way: each is pointed toward creating an outcome that is the best for all. Yet, ultimately in the moment of the actual event itself, all truly is well with everyone — whether present or unable to attend. And it’s easy to shake our heads at, frankly, either one of these behaviors as we view others’ navigation through our own lens. Because I’m soooooo enlightened…..
When’s the last time I cleaned my glasses? It’s wonderful to See you! Pass the potatoes, please.