The light, the dark, no difference.



You’ve likely encountered a situation or quality that has both a “good” side and a “bad” side. An example of this might be accomplishment. Yes, we get things done. And yet, sometimes they’re done less fully just so that we can get to them being done. Further still, we can slowly become rather rigid and narrow in our process of how we accomplish things, both daily tasks and broader goals. Now everything is a chore, with only one right way to go about getting there. We can barely stand to be around ourselves, we’re so inflexible.

The opposite of this is also an example: rather than a linear set of rules for getting things done, we remain open to variations of how things might become accomplished. We hold a “let’s see what unfolds” approach. And yet, sometimes nothing gets done in our focus on keeping open. Or worse, what unfolds for us is really not what we wanted: we victimized ourselves by letting our daily tasks and our broader goals be formed without truly giving our own input. We can barely stand to be around ourselves, we never make a decision.

Two sides of the same coin. The light side and the shadow side.

chance change


By now we’re pretty good at recognizing shadow sides of aspects of ourselves — and avoiding them. Or, shining a light on them with the purpose of dissolving them. But what if we embraced our shadow sides? What if they are not actually aspects to overcome and erase?

The light, the dark, no difference.

What if in this, we would know ourselves more fully? What if we would discover our wholeness? What if this wholeness was beautiful?

What if this divine, beautiful wholeness was because we integrated the shadow sides of our amazing qualities, rather than from eradicating them?

yin yang heart

I am in a wonderful relationship, in which we both get to support each other’s growth. (I’ve been in the opposite of that as well, so I recognize this now!) For me, codependency is a concept that is “over there,” a situation that I would observe from the outside, a separate paradigm I hold for other such qualifying relationships.

And yet… What if codependency is not a separate, distinct entity? What if codependency is simply a shadow side of some of my core relationship values?

I am empathic, compassionate, and I deeply value the well-being of others–especially my loved ones.

Is it my default to place others’ well-being above my own? Am I “helpfully” attempting to spare another from their discomfort? Do I unconsciously wait to decide my day until I know what others are doing with theirs?

Could empathy and compassion possibly be essential elements within codependency — rather than being two unrelated paradigms?

The other side of the same coin. The shadow side.

And by exploring rather than denying this, I am becoming even brighter.

The light, the dark, no difference.

All of it is Light.

light burst


Over to you: what is a potential dark side you might have, that you’ve been cutting out of your life? Are you willing to invite it to your table, and listen to what s/he has to say?

vader and skywalker lego

do no harm take no shit

book cover for 30 shamanic questions for humanity: from ego agenda to soul purpose...remembering the bigger picture. By Linda Star Wolf.


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