Not having agreement? Here’s the harmonious antidote, no other player needed.
As we proceed through more, extended time of StayAtHome, we –and the ones we love most — might be starting to drive each other nuts. Can you relate?
However, let me pose this thought: nothing about this in our relationships is new, we just can no longer look at it out the corner of our eyes. Our external distractions are diminished, we can’t as easily run or hide from each other.
This is a good thing. Because we get to full-on see through the eyes of Love:
I don’t need to be right; I just need to be honored and not dismissed.
You’re not asking to be the ultimate authority, you’re just asking to be heard.
I’m not hinting that you need to vacuum the entry rug just because I didn’t do it yet. You’re not leaving your coffee cup in the sink for me to wash for you, you’re just setting it aside for now.
And on the bigger ticket items such as dog-training, child-rearing, spring cleaning of the garage (that’s seven-plus years overdue), and home renovation design? Well, I just discovered a life-saving FREAKING AHA. If you’ve ever wondered if two people with different approaches, processes, and ideas can truly mesh, the answer is Yes. Without anyone “caving.” And it comes in this reminder form from Abraham-Hicks:
- Let (the Other) think what they think.
- Let (the Other) be what they are.
- Let (the Other) want what they want.
- My job is to turn toward my desires, my wants. In joy. Utter, complete joy and excitement.
There. Is. Nothing. To. Fix.
Our job is also to trust. To surrender the outcome. Which, in the day-to-day living, looks exactly like turning toward our own desires. Which is also turning away from the thing that is bugging us. Stop looking at that coffee cup in the sink. Look instead at what lights US up, which might just be stepping away from the kitchen and moving on to other joys for the day. It’s not about the coffee cup!
We don’t need to explain ourselves. We never needed to be right. And we no longer even need to be not-dismissed. Let them think what they think… Because we are honored. Inherently. Ourself. (And so are They.)
The next time you are In It, in the moment, try this. I dare you. And experience your own Holy Wow.
What lights you up about today? How about in a bigger picture? What are your dreams and joys?