We are constantly supported. Always.
Yesterday evening I was struggling. I was tired, my spouse was tired, and as we were outside together we were gently getting on each other’s last nerve just by breathing.
It happens occassionally, because we are human. The question is less “do you know what I mean” and more “how recently have you experienced this.” No biggie, as you know, and that’s not at all a river in Egypt.
And yet, it hurt.
In my response to their connecting small talk, I had asked a clarifying question. Which triggered the other person into feeling attacked (because they were low on energy) and reacting in a way which then made me feel belittled and that I needed them to be kinder (because I was low on energy).
We both quickly switched gears and settled back into supportive presence together. In my head I could even palpably see their efforts at regaining niceness and companionship.
But in my heart I wasn’t ready to let go of my hurt. (Again, I was low on energy and at the end of my full day. Excuses, excuses…)
Outwardly, I chose to act on responding to meet together again in friendship and love. Inwardly, I was exploring thoughts and emotions about being supported — or not.
The first one felt good. The second one…not so much. I spent a lot of mental energy (that I didn’t have) bleeding my power and wallowing.
By the time we got back inside, though, I had honestly returned to the place of releasing my spouse from being required to provide me with all of my emotional support at all times.
I checked my phone, which had remained inside. And I discovered a hugely unusual incident. Two messages. From extended friends. One who I had not connected with in a very long time. The other who is a freshly new connection. For either to reach out was an unexpected, happy surprise, let alone for both. At the exact same time that I was looping myself through feelings of being unsupported.
I had already come full circle, back to knowing these truths:
- Even in his mortal moments, my spouse truly does fully support me.
- Even through my own mortal moments I fully support him, and myself.
And Source had encouraged me immediately by reminding me of Its expansive and expanding field of support for me, through the messages on the phone. Holy wow.
I am absolutely covered.
I am completely cradled.
I am wholly supported. Holy-supported.
Always.
Thank you.
How can you recognize your support, today? Are there any unexpected reminders for you?
I love this post. Here’s why. It made me think about how my ex fiancée would belittle me often degrading me and using insults to insert manipulation. The smallest things would set him off. Your frustration moment made me think about how for him it was all about warring. Winning. Hurting. Getting away with I’ll intent. When we’d have those moments of frustration he wasn’t ever really able to navigate them. He had this strange tendency to blow things up then run and hide from his problems Hoping they don’t catch up. In fact, he was most angry with me for not falling for the manipulation and not enabling the behavior or his addiction (to he relapsed behind my back) he got so volatile that I had to leave but when I was leaving he assaulted me and tried to take my life. I had to do some serious soul searching after him. Upon my revelations in realized I was dealing with a narcissist addict. Someone not capable of experiencing normal emotions and relations with others. Blah I know this was an eye full and Probably peaked your
Interest if you want to know more my homepage has the link to the series in the graphic.
That type of relationship Versus
Current connections in my life that play out completely differently and wholesome as you stated support and genuine care.
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Rarenwise, I. See. You. I too am blessed to have learned this (as opposed to still IN it), and now experience non-narcissism!!
PS — I adore your blog! 🙂 https://ladyhummingbirdspeaks.com/2021/07/29/rare/
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I always ask myself how does a narcissist assault the one they call their “soul mate” leave them for dead and flee into another woman’s bed. And be “happier” with that person. Then logic tells me. If they were never happy with anyone before me, nor me the one they’d long for their whole life, they are NOT “happier” now. Merely spieling smoke and mirrors so one can feel like their missing out. 🤣🤞 what don’t realize is no one feels like their missing out once a toxic narcissist is not their problem anymore. He’s her problem now and it’s only a matter of time before she “messes” up and suddenly he hates her and they’re fighting and he’s fleeing once more.
The most interesting part of my experience is how desperately he’s tried to twist it around on me. It’s more important for him to convince me that I’m the narcissist than just look in the mirror and own up to his own bs
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