More of This:
So I’ve been sitting with my jaw-dropping learning about not seeing myself as vulnerable to other people’s negativity. Honestly, I love this. I feel lighter and brighter, just considering myself as this state of being.
And then…I encountered a curmudgeon. And aaaallll of my ideals about not being a victim to the atmosphere just. went. poof.
Clearly, I am going to need a game plan. A toolkit. A basket of helpful options.
Sitting further with this, I realized it isn’t all or nothing. I actually can unplug from the situation, without having to disconnect from the beloved person in order to do so.
For an empath, that’s actually quite an Aha.
Here’s an approach that is now helping me with keeping my upbeat self when blasted with someone’s negativity:
There is nothing for me to fix.
They are actually enjoying their mood, in a (to me) weird kind of way. They see no reason to fix it, I can let go of feeling that I need to do so. (In fact, it’s imperative.)
Does this thought make you hesitate? Are you still holding on to how awesome you are at making things better, for everyone? Yeah, I did too. For me, my loving desire to “help” them out of what they know is a crabby mood, only leads to them feeling solidified further in it. My engagement only feeds the beast. Even my “helpful” and “positive” engagement.
You can’t help the unwilling, and in that moment that’s what they are. They are still processing, they are not through it yet, and they are not ready to be led out the other side. It’s not their time, yet.
(And really, who am I to say that it is, for another person? Heck, I have enough to consider around this process and timing with my own self.)
My engagement only feeds the other person’s negative mood. So, I don’t engage with it.
And here’s my leveled-up awareness of this approach: I don’t have to leave the room. I can still make eye contact. I can absolutely let them know that they are heard, without feeding their negative mood.
The results? They either end up wandering off, or changing the subject, or otherwise processing their deal to themselves. Because I am no longer a match to their vibration, they are no longer drawn to
spew it on point it in my direction.
Try it. You will be lovingly amazed. (Plus, you have zero to lose here!)
Full disclosure: it may take a few tries on their part to suck you back in, in that moment. This may not be an instant change. Because, well, we’ve taught them otherwise up until now, right? Am I awesome at this? Not yet, but I am sooo headed in the right direction for me. (It’s actually funny just how often we will find ourselves in another chance to practice!)
There is nothing to fix.
There is nothing to feed.
There is only love.